The life raft I've needed

Somewhat abashedly, I bring you this post that has been sitting in my drafts for a couple months now: The Three Most Influential Books I Read in 2016. 2016 was a big year for me, and the biggest gift - besides the birth of my daughter, obvs - was learning about Overdrive and getting access to a library (#literally) of books at my fingertips. 

I'm thankful for all the discoveries I made through falling in love with reading again this last year; there was so much magic in it (#literallyagain), and I look forward to reading and sharing more in 2017!

1. The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo

I keep thinking I need to write a separate post about this because it is changing my life, as well as still kicking my butt because I am not done with it (i.e., the tidying, not the book).

I'm sure you have heard enough about Kondo's concepts from everyone else on the internet already, but it has been the one method that has really worked for getting me to confront the underlying reasons of why I can't always do the things I need to do to get to the place I want to be.

A few of you texted me after I wrote The Secret Sauce. I still really struggle with scarcity mentality, and I've been thinking a lot about how if I let go of fear, what will be left?

2. Essentialism by Greg McKeown

Oddly, I can't remember exactly why I loved this book so much (other than having it read to me by the author; I've since changed Siri to a UK man voice so I can pretend that Greg McKeown is with me always).

The most convicting point was when he challenged his readers with the question (paraphrased): are you going to look back on your life and regret not doing the one thing you were made to do, because you were so busy chasing the meaningless other things you thought you needed to do (or that you thought other people expected you to do)?

3. Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

This was another good one to have read aloud (Christine rightly recommended the audio version, and I am SO not an audiobook person), because it's also read by the author, and Liz Gilbert has thee most soothing and encouraging voice ever.

I loved everything Gilbert had to say, but the most important takeaway for me was: don't take yourself so seriously / don't be a tormented artist / follow inspiration and curiosity / don't worry so much about the outcome / enjoy the process / have fun with your art.

This is the message that I've been carrying into my life for the past half-year now, and am incorporating here by showing up on my blog, starting to Instagram more, doing random art projects, and working on some diy projects around the house.

I think she really gets it right when she talks about how inspiration is from the Divine, and that if we want more opportunities for it, we have to take action on the ones we are given.

This seems like a bold statement to make, but I feel like Big Magic has been the life raft I've needed ever since graduating from college.

Please let me know what you've been reading and loving!

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And this week's menu!

Miso mapo tofu is my own creation to make mapo tofu without gluten (so many black bean sauces have wheat in them, didn't know that before!). Miso works really well (not soy free, however) and makes a flavorful dish that incidentally serves as a non-spicy version great for kids! Another standby is to have rotisserie chicken from the grocery store on one night and make broth with the carcass the following day for pho (just add fish sauce!). For bún (i.e., Viet noodle bowls), we work off of Molly's recipe from Delancey.

P.S. I am so giddy because apparently on February 23 I got my first two Amazon Affiliate purchases from this blog. Besides feeling giddy, I am so curious who that was, so if that was you and this wouldn't embarrass you, would you please let me know either by comment or email what you got?? Thanks, on all counts!

P.P.S. Shout-out to Christine, whose What I'm Reading series inspired this post, and which will inspire you as well.

15. Everything and nothing

Today I have everything and nothing to say.

I'm starting to get to the point where I want to be done with this project so I can reboot with a new one. At the same time, I am wondering what principles I should carry into the next project, because I think there are some valuable aspects, such as the aspect of accountability through publicly declaring a project. May it never be said of me that I don't follow through on my commitments. (Oof, what does that say about me?)

One of the major concepts I'm experiencing within this project is Einstein's tactic of "combinatory play," which I first heard referenced in Liz Gilbert's Big Magic. It's the notion that when you're stuck, engaging yourself in some other way and might help you get unstuck. This could be something simple like going for a walk, or it could be taking up a different artistic hobby.

"I don't sweat the small stuff. Instead, I lump it together with the big and medium things so I can have a major breakdown instead." --Abbyhasissues.com

I don't think I realized how stuck I was in life and in general until I painted our bed white earlier this year, which led to us doing the The Purge, which gave me the mental capacity and energy to sign up for a writer's workshop, which led me to authors and to Inspiration, which led me to this project, which I already feel is leading me to a lot of other paths of unstuckness.

In fact, the subject of my first workshop essay was the painting of our originally black bed. One day after Kathy helped me tidy up our room I was inspired to get rid of the darkness once and for all. (Our room gets the most light in the house and yet it was so depressing because of our black furniture. No bueno in a very grey city.) I wrote about how I just dove in without much prep or planning but that just doing it was way better than not. And now, six months later, I see that that little step - done but not perfect - made a huge impact on how I'm feeling today. It's a lesson for me, to consider the things that are bothering me the most in my life - even if they may seem like insignificant things - and do something to change it, without being afraid to mess up.

This, too, is related to the idea mentioned before of creating your vocation/vacation. As well as the idea of not only being your own best friend, but also being your own therapist. I need to engage myself, ask myself what's bothering me, what do I want my life to look like, and how do I get there.

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Random: One possible negative of my meditating on thoughts of creativity and non-conformity is that I'm starting to question a lot of the rules I impose on my kids. I try to give choices as many times as I can throughout the day, although obviously they are bounded choices. "I am their mom, not a cruise director." (I can't stop chuckling at that. I also can't figure out who said that first. Someone thought Tina Fey, which sounds right, but I can't prove it on the Internetz so it's not verified.) So I'm going to not let the possible paradigm shifts steer me too much; my sanity is more important than that, for the time being. My kids shall keep conforming to the conventions I set for them, says this mom, aka the benevolent dictator.

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P.S. A few of you have asked how having kids affects my perspective on decluttering/simplicity. I definitely think it feels hard to get rid of things that I think *might* benefit my kid (one day), but in the bigger picture, but I'm learning that having less stuff to tidy or less stuff to make sure my kids aren't getting hurt on ends up freeing me up to have more time and energy for my kids, which is a good thing. See this article from a slightly different angle that I think makes the same argument.

P.P.S. FYI I brushed up on the recipe page a bit and it's more comprehensive now. Food is another way of engaging "combinatory play" - I need to make and post more recipes!