Seven days of morning pages

"What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while." 
--Gretchen Rubin

I talked last week about committing to Morning Pages (tl;dr: handwriting three full pages, every single day). I plan to go at this for a month and see what happens. So far it's been a week.

I've been finding it challenging to get to three full pages on some days, but at least there's a production/output goal and I know when I'm done.

(It kind of surprises me how I can run out of things to say.)

(...but here I am, generating things to say about it. Ta da!)

Here are some things that helped me with it:

1. Finding the right notebook.

It helped to find a notebook that is nice enough that I want to write in it, but not so nice that I'm afraid of sullying it with my silly thoughts.

I mentioned the irony of me going out to Target to buy a notebook the other day because most people have half-finished spiral notebooks from college that would be perfect for the job. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I had gotten rid of all these things in the Purge.

I found the perfect-for-this-purpose notebook at Target: the Yoobi college-ruled spiral notebook. It was $2.29, which back when I was going to school seems kind of expensive, but it's still significantly cheaper than a $8-10 journal.

I love it because it's not stupidly sized (8"x10.5" anyone?), although, ha!, I just realized this is actually 9"x11" (so weird) and thus I've actually been forced to write more than three 8.5"x11" pages. Insert sideways glance emoji.

It has a firm cover and lays nicely, so whether you're writing on the left side or the right side, it's very sturdy. (Side note: every other day you will get to start on the "nice" side. Ha!)

2. Writing at the same time every day.

For me it works out to do it in the morning during Emilyn's first nap and when Theo is in independent play time. Morning pages takes 20-30 minutes for me.

I have been super slacking about my early wake up. (David is probably on to something when I said I should resume with that after our elimination diet is over.) I can't be consistent enough to do this before the kids wake up (and my brain probably wouldn't be awake enough either), so if's going to be during the "work day" I like getting it done at the first moment of free time I have so I can get the most possible benefit from it, and I can check it off my list.

(I think this point may not be universal. Some people may benefit more from not doing it at the same time every day. It's just what works for me.)

If I remember, I lay out my notebook and pen on top of my laptop the night before so I am reminded to do it.

3. Setting the stage for work.

It helps me to be dressed (at least jeans and shoes) and to have my face clean and moisturized. Lately when I've been trying to sit down for work I turn my phone to Do Not Disturb. Some people even go so far as to put their phones in airplane mode. I don't find that necessary for me, but I could see how that could help.

On one morning I was feeling anxious about random stuff and it prevented me from beginning well. I didn't want to do a full-blown meditation and not have enough time to write (sigh), so I set a timer for five minutes and did a self-guided body scan. I finished before the timer rang (obviously not the goal, but just fyi), and I felt way more relaxed and able to begin.

4. Coloring outside the lines.

In college, I frequently took notes on printer paper because I don't love how diagrams look on lined paper and I like to take notes in a non-linear fashion. But for this, I am trying not to freak out about crossing through lines to draw pictures, make lists, sketch mind maps, and chart out matrices.

There are no rules other than filling up three pages!

You can change the subject on yourself every paragraph, or every sentence. I insert a ton of parentheticals (duh), even though I am writing to myself. Some people say you should never go back and read them, but I've been taking a highlighter to the things that are worth referring back to.

5. Using it to hash out whatever is bothering me.

This is related to the previous point. Using non-linear ways of expression often helps me solve a problem. One day I drew a big heart and filled it in with elements/pieces that would help me feel like if they were in place, I would be living out of a whole heart. (To be honest, this exercise was from an assignment I didn't finish during the Known workshop last summer.)

The other day I made chart with three columns: (1) Topic, (2) Fear, (3) When I have acted on this topic, what happened?

That same day, I started lists entitled "What things around the house don't have a home?" and "What overwhelming-to-me things do I need to stop overthinking about, and just execute upon?"

6. Just keep going, even if I feel like I have nothing to say.

I had one day where I felt like I was seriously making up crap the whole time just to get to the finish line and at the very end, I came up with what I really needed to say, and I had to curve up the margin to fit it on the third page.

Highlighted: "You are scared to show/reveal the ways in which you are letting go of the long-held beliefs that you feel are what allow you to belong. BUT you belong. You have tried to combat fear with belief, but the antidote to fear is faith."

7. That completed my list, but I'm not sure how to transition out of a list to my conclusion, and doesn't making this point number seven just work perfectly for this piece?

With this, and in combination with what I said in my last two posts about blogging, I've decided to use my morning nap time for Morning Pages, and my afternoon nap time for working on the blog. I think I need to write specifically for this (i.e., the blog) every day, even if I'm only posting twice a week.

So that's how it's going so far, and these are notes to myself on how I might keep plugging along. I will be sure to keep you posted as things go on!

And tell me: what is your journaling style these days? How many different notebooks (physical and/or digital) do you have and what is each of their purposes?

Dear future self,

Here are some tips for parties you are going to host in the future because you love to host parties but hate how sometimes doing stuff you love stresses you out:

1. You are creative, so be creative. You don't have to follow all the rules to have a great event, and who wants to go to a party where the rules are the same as always?

2. Make lists of whatever is on your mind and don't be afraid to re-write those lists as the formulation and envisionment of your plans change, or as the days go by and the items are crossed out and it's closer to game time and you need your list to look very different.

3. Don't be afraid to start just because you have no idea how the heck these lists need to look for you to "feel" organized. Ignore the voice that tells you, "You've planned so many parties and you still don't know how to frame your plan?!"

4. Delegate as much as you can, especially the stuff you don't like to do. There are people out there who would love to do decorations, or plan a game.

5. Even better, cut out the stupid stuff. It's okay to have a party without favors. And it's okay for there not to be a gift-opening time at a baby shower where everyone has to sit and watch the mom-to-be seem surprised while opening everything she already saw was purchased on her registry, and which she put on there in the first place. Plus, she will really like the way you allocated time for the guests to give her their gifts and sneak in some one-on-one time.

6. Even though you dislike excess, plan one or two special touches that you are really excited about, like that blueberry lemon mint infused water. It's so beautiful!

7. If you're hosting at an off-site location, count on having to schlep all your stuff. There are tools that make your job (or the way you like to do your job) easier, and yes, it's annoying to have to bring them with you. But do it anyway. Empty out laundry baskets in advance for this cause. You'll be glad when you can use your stainless steel mini tongs for serving and your tent cards for labeling the dishes.

8. Do, do, do. As much as you love/hate the planning and the analyzing part, you also have to actually do stuff. Break things up into really small bite-sized pieces. Don't be embarrassed about writing down those baby steps on your aforementioned lists. You're a mom, and sometimes to get anything done you have to do it one teensy tiny bite at a time. Do as many of those baby steps as you can in advance. (But don't mix cut strawberries with sliced lemons for your other infused water ahead of time; the strawberries will bleed and you will be sad.)

9. Before/during the party, empower people to jump in and help; they don't need to ask questions of you. Give people enough information about the big pictures and let them know that they can do whatever they see needs to get done in order to have the event run smoothly. They can refill drinks when they see them getting low, refill serving platters, or clear plates. They don't need your permission. (And don't forget to send these people home with all the leftovers, so they can eat on them for a week.)

10, Finally, bring these napkins, but not to the baby shower, duh.