Exponentially better

I wanted to share a little bit about how our meal planning paradigm has slowly shifted. I recently took a course with the Lazy Genius called The Meal Plan. It costed actual cash dollars, and while I would have gladly paid for it even if it didn't work (because everything else I've already learned from her has been worth it), it did help me a lot and I'm really thankful.

I have complained so much about meal planning and tried many different methods. And while my currently meal planning game is far from 100% right now, it's exponentially better, and I have Kendra to thank for it.

It's awkward, because I want to share, but I don't want to give away for free what she has worked hard on and is part of her business and livelihood... does that make sense? So I emailed her to see how I might do this respectfully. She basically gave me the green light and simply asked that I include a link to the course. There's a wait list currently, but you can sign up to be notified when it opens up again. I highly recommend it.

I hope that by sharing what I've learned, it might help you, and also, I'm really interested in more conversations about food, culture, and family. Perhaps you'll read through the lines to see what I mean, and what I've been thinking and wrestling about lately.

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One huge component of Kendra's Meal Plan is to have in your arsenal a list of Brainless Crowd Pleasers. This is a physical list of meals that please your crowd - your people, your family, you. You draw from this when you are making your meal plan.

It's so simple and obvious that I missed it. I kept thinking about what "normal" families eat (or what they "should" eat, or what kid might like to eat) instead of thinking, What does my family truly like to eat?

Thinking about this turned on its head the question I usually ask. And now, instead of trying to figure out to modify the meals I want to cook/eat into meals my family will eat, I now think about how to plan meals around the foods I know my family will eat.

I can safely say that Kathy, Theo, and Emilyn are more particular and more limited in their preferences than are David and I. Instead of seeing this change as catering to them in a "selling out" sort of way, I am now relieved that when I cook something I know Kathy likes, it usually turns out that Theo, Emilyn, David, and I all love it, too.

And these foods tend to fall in the Asian (and particularly, Southern Chinese and Vietnamese) spectrum.

(Theo doesn't care for tomato sauce, so spaghetti is off our rotation. It doesn't mean we never eat it, but I try to change my default mentality that it could be incorporated with regularity. I'll just find myself banging my head on the wall if I do so.)

Don't get me wrong, I am *happy* to eat Asian food. I just don't usually think of it first when I think of what I'm craving. Ironically, this is because it is like background noise to me, like water to a fish. When I think about what I want to eat, it's Mexican, Indian, or Mediterranean. (Or, lbh, McDonald's.)

But eating Asian? It just doesn't come to mind.

However, when I smell julienned ginger hitting a hot pan with sesame oil, I am immediately transported to my mom's kitchen, Ratatouille-style. The same goes for preparing green onions, cilantro, ginger: the Chinese Holy Trinity.

In our second- and third- generation Asian-American household, I used to think of making bao or steamed anything was a special occasion.

Now I take out the steamer on a weekly basis, and it feels surprisingly natural.

Everyone is happier food-wise, and as the kitchen's chief executive director/operator, I couldn't be more pleased.

This is the game changer.

Yes, it's fascinating to me that where we landed was: what works for us is to plan, cook, and eat more Asian food. But it's maybe even more interesting to me that choosing to "settle" for What My Family Eats (even if it's not what I always feel like cooking or eating) is ultimately way easier for me because it takes the anxiety/pressure off wondering if my family will appreciate the effort I put into meals.

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And so begins what may become a series of posts on food and meal planning. List of our Brainless Crown Pleasers (BCPs) forthcoming.

Tell me about you! How are your food habits similar/different to when you grew up? How has your environment, geography, and intercultural/interracial connections shaped your development of food habits?

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P.S. This article entitled "Our Idea of Healthy Eating Excludes Other Cultures, And That's A Problem"* was an interesting one sent to me by my friend Marla after we talked about intuitive eating and how that could help us better take into account cultural differences.

*Marla, I'm getting self-conscious about referencing an article in front of an English professor... it's supposed to be in quotes and not italicized, right? ;P

P.P.S. I'm happy to report that more than a year later, we are pretty much still using our days-of-the-week mnemonic for our breakfast routine. The slight modification is that Tuesdays may have more tater tots than tacos, and that Friday's Fried Eggs sometimes come in the form of French Toast.

A few randoms, IV

#shelfie

1. Theo and Emi have been obsessed with chickens and eggs lately. (We also got three new Barred Rock chicks last Friday!) A couple weeks ago, Theo created an imaginary friend/chickie that he has named Eggy, and it's made of one of my knit hats stuffed with socks wrapped inside a towel. The two have since gathered more knit hats and made more "chickies" with these. Last night Emi asked me to crochet her a tiny hat for one. It's about the size of a cotton ball and perfect for her newest chickie. They love making nests and coops for their chickies.

2. Mari Andrew was on Forever35 talking about how even in her dream job (of being artist, I assume she means), she realizes how important it is to start the day with gratitude as a self-care practice. I enjoyed listening to this segment beginning around 41 minutes (Episode 38).

3. My friends Kayla and Marla and I have been talking and thinking about the concept of intuitive eating as brought up in The Lazy Genius and Healthy Eating episode which was very intriguing and provocative. If you give it a listen, let me know what you think!

4. If you need some laughs, check out this funny list of mom memes that my brother, of all people, sent me.

5. I have been desperately wanting more houseplants and found some new fun ones I'm super excited about. I even made a simple macrame plant hanger for one of them (not shown, because lighting is bad in basement, which is precisely why plants are needed to cheer up the space).

5b. Speaking of the basement, we've recently shifted the indoor trampoline that was in the basement out to the carport (which wasn't being well utilized) so that the basement could be more of a playroom/office/studio. Changes! Good changes, for once. ;p Transforming the carport into a covered, outdoor play space has been awesome for winter. I self-five myself for my great ideas.

6. This isn't anything that new to our life/routine but I want to capture it here on my blog because I'm sure I'll forget in the years to come. A lot of our evenings these days look like me and David alternating nights going gai gai (outing in Cantonese) with Kathy, while the littles sleep. TJMaxx, Target, Michaels, and Winco are some of regular destinations.

7. My meal planning game has really been upped since I took a course with The Lazy Genius. I plan on sharing more about that in this space soon. Stay tuned!

8. Another thing I am likely to forget about in the future is how long this current phase with Cori has felt. She's a little over four months now and up until this last week has not fallen asleep for bed before 10 or 11pm. For many weeks it was midnight or 1am. David and I got used to staying up late doing things but it was exhausting (probably especially for David who usually gets up at 5am). Now she's finally creeping up on an earlier bedtime and it's wonderful. Also, her naps are so irregular compared to T + E (although as my friend Kelli pointed out, Theo and Emilyn were probably both "my worst sleeper" when they were in that stage, too, lol). I've tried so many different waketime lengths and frequently end up with 45 minute naps. So these last couple of days I'm also keeping her up longer (much longer than I did with T + E) and seeing some moderate success. But we shall see.

It's rilly hard to be mad at this face, tho.

We are obsessed with her dough-soft cheeks. Kathy came up with the nickname Cori bao (or cork-u-bao, a blend of porcupine and cha siew bao). We also call her Corky.

9. I'm crocheting another blanket and am excited for how it will turn out. It's nice to have a project where I can see progress and growth!

10. Theo and Emilyn are saying the funniest things and I need to do a round-up of all those quotes here soon. For now, here's something that just happened yesterday:
Theo (eating gyoza): Mama, what are these dumplings called? (Because we usually eat boiled dumplings and not pan-fried.)
Me: Well, you could call them gyoza or potstickers.
Theo: Oh, okay. I really like these potstickers!

11. I started my own One Line A Day journal using a beautiful Moleskine journal my friend Kayla had gotten me years ago that was too pretty to write in. The mint green is just so on point. We will see how long this lasts. So far I have written a sentence for Jan 8-15 :D

Ahoy!

I feel like Bob Wiley from the scene in What About Bob? where he says, "I'm sailing! I'm a sailor! I sail!" 

Y'all. I paint now. I'm a painter! I'm painting!

Kathy's amazing artwork has inspired me to try watercolor. I was really scared at the beginning because I did it as a child and really was not very good at it. 

In grad school, I took a community class in oil painting and had a lot of fun with that medium. I liked that I could really mix stuff as I was going, and didn't have to worry about it drying. It felt analogous to cooking (vs. baking) where I could adjust as I went. Watercolor seemed like you had to think things through and then have only one shot at it.

I'm not sure if it's the new modern watercolor style that's easier, or that I'm approaching it differently now. Youtube tutorials help a lot, too. So crazy how you can just learn anything these days, from the comfort of your home.

With little kids around I haven't touched oil painting in years; it's nice to have watercolor because I can pick it up whenever and just paint in the margins (literally and figuratively). 

We love to use the cheap sketchbooks from Michael's (Kathy and I joke that the best artwork always turns out on the cheapest paper). They are Artist's Loft brand, and just $5. I used to get the bigger journals because you technically get more for your money, but now I like the small ones because it's easier to take out and also there's less pressure to fill a page.

So far I'm mostly doing botanicals and lettering; perhaps I'll branch out (ha) to other subjects eventually.

I want to host an art night sometime. If anyone is interested let me know! We'll pop in What About Bob? and do some painting!

Art Gallery

Kathy let me host an art gallery to display and sell her art!!! She has been doodling and painting a lot lately and her work is amazing, so I suggested we host a small gallery in our home.





The primary goal was to put herself out there (a huge step for any artist, or let's face it, any human person), and if she made any money, that would just be gravy.

Prior to the show, she opened a fortune cookie that said, "Everything will now come your way."



She had a lot of framed original watercolor pieces, some matted prints (next time we will do more but it's a lot of work!), and handmade cards.



It was a huge success; she felt like people were fighting over her paintings like it was Black Friday. Guests also purchased stuff that she was planning on throwing away. (Accordingly, we made a "sale" basket of odds and ends and people enjoyed sifting through it.)

She also received the compliment of many commissions and reproductions.

One of my favorites. My friend who purchased this for her aunt said she will make sure her aunt appreciates it, or else she will take it back ;P

We are so proud of our daughter and so thankful for the friends, family members, and mentors who came out so support her!

THANKSGIVING 2018

(Christine, this is silly but I am channeling you in my post title ;p)

I was so happy with my Thanksgiving tablescape this year that I had to post pictures.

I saw this a year or two ago and haven't been able to get it out of my mind. Since I recently learned some brush lettering (thank you Kathy!), I decided to attempt my own version of it this year.

I wasn't quite sure when/how I was going to get this all done, but in the back of my mind, decorating the table was my "fun extra" that wasn't critical to the day/meal, but that would be the one thing I really wanted to do for myself. (See Note To Self #6.) It was quite a tension for me to hold during the day: that I really, really wanted to do something I may not end up getting to do.

With little kids around, I couldn't set the table before lunch. And while Cori's naps aren't coordinated yet with Emi's, I still managed to get the decorating done in the afternoon, before dinner.

I started with laying out the paper (from a kid's roll of easel paper). I couldn't find my burlap fabric that I sometimes use as a runner, so I folded up a coffee bag in half lengthwise.



There isn't much non-evergreen greenery outside anymore, so I took a philodendron from the mantel and spread out the vines (?). I added candles and various pumpkins we had accumulated this fall.

I traced dinner plates with my Tombow brush pens and then brush lettered the names. Instead of drawing the utensils (which was super cute in my inspo pic), I simply set the table with utensils and napkins. For dinner service, we set the plates at the buffet.

I didn't have enough time to decorate the buffet as well as I would have liked to - the 6-foot folding table we used for it had become the temporary dining table (where the kiddos usually craft and play all day) so I couldn't claim that early enough. I prioritized the dinner table and chose to be satisfied with that. Later I realized I had a lot more pumpkins around (especially on the front porch), which I could have grabbed to make a display with greater impact.

It was fun to have a paper table cloth and perhaps it was the inspiration for others to do art after dinner.

In terms of the food, some highlights this year were that David smoked the turkey, and made a sweet potato pie with ginger. Other than that, my mom and I prepped our classic family dishes.

Past Thanksgivings:
Thanksgiving 2014 | Friendsgiving 2016

A few randoms, III

Yes, those are reading glasses. WHAT IS HAPPENING.

1. This past weekend, I found a moment to get away to Panera with my journal*, brush pens, and washi tape. In newborn-land it is so hard to get out of tunnel vision, so I'm thankful I was able to shift my perspective and make some time. (#adulting?) I felt 110% like myself when I stepped out of the car with my backpack on, ready to have a coffee date with myself. (FYI, feeling like myself means I am 21 and in Berkeley)

*Molly, I'm still somewhat keeping up on GTD. You?

2. I've been on and off with using natural deodorant. I love the basic homemade coconut oil, corn starch, baking soda, and essential oils mixture. (My favorite combination is tea tree, lavender, and bergamot.) Recently I also checked out Schmidt's Lavender and Sage, which smells amazing. I think I'm having a few issues every once in a while with the baking soda and the stick is pretty hard in this weather but it helps to let it soften against my armpit for a few moments before applying. So I suppose it's a great alternative to homemade during the summer if/when we travel to warmer climates.

3. Podcasts that make me happy: The Lazy Genius, The Mom Hour, The Next Right Thing, Coffee+Crumbs. Please comment with your recent faves!

4. (Why is so hard to find good blogs these days? The good bloggers don't list their blog roll of who else they are reading so it's hard to find more. Please send me your faves! Also, once again: RIP Google Reader.)

5. I owe Christine an entire post on our chickens (who/what/where/when/why/how), but until then, here is a picture of their beautiful eggs. We have been enjoying these since mid-August (and we got them as chicks at the end of March, on Good Friday). Thanks to David for doing all the hard work! <3

6. I've been loving a homemade countertop spray: a few squirts of unscented Dr. Bronner's soap, a few drops of rosemary essential oil (sometimes also with a few drops of lemon), and the rest of the spray bottle filled up with water. It's been working well for me for months now, and I absolutely love how it smells.

7. On a positive note, check out my grandma glasses on these cuties.

(Ignore the super grown-out hair and/or mullets. Remember, newborn fog.)

Pipe dream

You guys. Most days lately I'm operating on the lowest levels of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, simply keeping small and big people alive. Self-actualization? Just a pipe dream.

But thoughts are always flowing through my brain, and instead of worrying about them not being good enough to put out into the world, I just need to do it. Always my lesson.

The format and/or quality may not be what I aspire to. But this is my space, so for whom does it really matter? It's better to have shitty first drafts than none at all, right?

(Be, and act as, my own authority. Forever my lesson as a 6.)

Also, it's so weird, but I'm only now discovering in my 30s that self-disclosure is not my strong suit. As a flaming extrovert I had no idea how true this is about me. No one told me I need to work on this, I just feel like I need to.

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Despite crazy low moments of stress / exhaustion / overwhelm / anxiety, I'm having some really good moments. Moments I feel evolved, lol. Like this morning, when I heard the heater turn on, instead of feeling worried about bills, I thought, Thank you that we have heat. What stupid privileged conversation I often waste my brain space on, worrying about the things we have.

So, thank You, thank You, thank You.