It was a super thoughtful gift, something that's useful for a particular thing I actually really enjoy, but I didn't want to own this object; it only served a few purposes, and I didn't particularly care for the aesthetic.
The item was about $36 and Amazon was going to charge me $6 for the return shipping if I used the UPS label they provide. It sucked to see that deduction, so I dilly-dallied for a moment, considering the pay-my-own-shipping route, or figuring out another way to off-load this gift in an "economical" way. After letting myself analyze for about one to two minutes, I cut myself off and told myself that I needed to "be the boss of myself."
As part of this new season of my life, I'm trying to act the way I want to feel. Sitting in front of the screen, I said to myself, "In this moment, I'm going to act like my time is worth $100/hr." I didn't want to spend any more of my precious time debating how to minimize the $6 loss of returning it. If I spent even two minutes on the thinking, and my time is worth $100/hr, that was $3.33 right there. If I spent even two more minutes debating, I would have exceeded the perceived $6 loss I was trying to avoid.
And this was for a gift that I didn't spend any money buying in the first place. I felt so grown up being able to:
1) Receive the gift with gratitude.
2) Decide quickly to return it because I didn't want/need it.
3) Let myself do my analyzing thing. I can't help myself.
4) Stop myself from doing my analyzing thing for too long. .
5) Move on with life.
Ultimately I chose to value my life more than money.
One of the paradoxes of adulthood is the concept of being the boss of yourself, which necessarily means you are both the boss and the one being bossed around.
Is this hard or is this easy?
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| When you're the boss of yourself you can do handstands at home. #leanagainst |
Prompts for the Studious, or, A shameless call for comments:
1) What are your thoughts on the concept of waiting for permission?
2) What do you want right now in life that you are waiting for permission for?3) What are some paradoxes you're pondering?
4) Anything else that stuck out to you?
5) Can you tell that I used to be a Bible study leader for a campus ministry?
More from me:
B & I have recently entered this stage we are calling "The Purge". It was really emotionally hard, but SO freeing just removing things from our life that we neither want nor need. (1) I love the idea of not waiting for permission. This is especially true in the workplace. A couple wise bosses once counseled me to do what I am passionate about and apologize later if needed. Freeing indeed. (2) This requires a longer discussion that is not for the public eye. (3) That I want to answer all the questions, but that I don't have an answer for this one...or do I? (4) I love the idea of owning your life and not needing to be burdened or weighed down by gifts or other things (items, impositions of time, etc.) that you don't want or cannot handle. How is this balanced with self-sacrificial living? This is the true paradox I am pondering. (4) No, I KNOW this to be true :)
ReplyDeleteAww, love your response :) yes, asking for forgiveness, not permission. i think i'm a fan. i love your paradox(es). definitely what you have to say in point 4 is something i'm thinking about and probably deserves a few posts/reflections. it seems like a crazy topic to talk about how seeking one's own "joy" fits in with even Christian theology. i think i'm kind of scared to write about it, which is probably why i need to do it...?
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