10/15/2019

It's October


Yikes. It's October and I've only published five posts this year. (As I typed that sentence, a gust of wind released a million scarlet leaves from our maple, swirling as though in a snow globe.)

Taking the time to write in this blog seems frivolous, like so many fallen leaves, but I feel this pull to document some things, if only for me, and also to remember that this is a safe space, my space (lol, DEB).

I have been thinking about a lot of things lately, the most prominent and comprehensive topic being the idea of seasons.

In a recent book I read, Do Less, author Kate Northup provocatively poses this question to women: what if we assessed our productivity based not on a 24-hour cycle (i.e., daily) but a 28-day cycle (i.e., monthly/lunar)? She also invites us to take into consideration the seasons, whether literal or figuratively, when taking stock of our lives and plans.

When people say, "it's just a season," it's often an attempt to comfort and console, and yet I think it incidentally gives a bad rap to whatever season that person is in. Implied, it seems, is that someone is in winter and they need only to wait for spring. Instead, I'm beginning to wonder if we can discover the gifts of winter, without expecting them to be the same as the gifts of spring, summer, and fall.

I like this idea of living with the seasons, the mindful embrace of what is, rather than what I wish were reality.

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What does this fall have for me? What do I need to let go of?

I feel like I'm still in my summer with regards to thoughts and projects -- that many things that began to grow have not yet come to fruition. How can I trust that these things can go dormant and be picked up again in its season? And/or, which of these things can continue to grow/bloom through autumn?


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Closing randoms / notes to myself:

- The transition to fall, and to Theo starting kindergarten and Emi starting preschool, hit me especially hard, even though I was theoretically prepared for it. I was on hiatus with my therapist since early summer (?), and have since scheduled an appointment for this Friday, but it would be good for Future Lisa to remember to preemptively schedule a follow-up at the end of whatever break I'm trying to give myself, and also to schedule appointments in advance of known transition periods.

- I don't want to forget the way Theo still jumps up and down on his tippy toes when he's super excited. Usually when he's done something nice for someone (Emi or Cori) or built something very cool.

- Self care lately looks like: brisk walks outside, serving myself beautiful food, meditation, reading for fun, painting, time with friends, saying no/delegating/not doing something just because I could. Just today: trying to do chores only when the kids are awake; catching myself (simply by noticing!) when I was self-loathing/self-sabotaging. Writing this post today really feels like self-love.

- I've read a bunch of books lately that were super fascinating. I've had to return books to the library before I got to finish them... basically, I'm having #readerproblems, and this has led me to consider creating a syllabus for myself for 2020. I think I might want to pace myself and delve more deeply into what I'm reading. Anyone have suggestions or something they want to read with me? Please comment with one book suggestion for me (either that you read and liked in 2019, or hope to read in 2020)!

- Thanks, as always, for reading! Grateful for each one of you.

2 comments:

  1. yay, I like this! especially your expression of self-love through writing. That is so real and true. My book rec of 2019 is probably Educated by Tara Westover (seriously, could not shut up about it for a full month), Becoming by Michelle Obama, or Pachinko. (ps: are you on Goodreads, so I can creep on all the books you're reading and vice-versa? Sharon got me into it...)

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    1. thanks! :D Nice, I literally *just* wrote down Educated today, after reviewing old screenshots on my phone. I've heard this mentioned in multiple places, and it's going on my list. Thanks! I read and enjoyed Becoming, and I read Pachinko (not sure I could really say I *enjoyed* being obliterated by that one, sigh). I'm sure I have a Goodreads account from a million years ago, but I haven't used it lately. I feel like I saw my friend use an app version, do you do that? Sharon recommended Maybe You Should Talk To Someone to me through that ;p

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