Gold for us, or, Brainless Crowdpleasers

As promised, here is our family's list of BCPs. Note that it includes some take-out, eat-out, and frozen options. It's not limited to just what we can prepare from scratch; it's a list of what we can have for dinner that should mostly please everyone at the table. A lot of them are similar - permutations of each other - and that's okay. In fact, that's part of why this works.

I didn't do the exact math, but I think it's about 75% Asian, the reason for which I expounded upon in my previous post.

This is close to the order in which I originally brainstormed them, so you'll see funny associations and a lot of things grouped together because one thing made me think of another.

Nice to know I had Noona's approval on my list

It seemed weird to write all of them out, but I think that's the beauty of it. Having this list is gold for us, even if it doesn't look like much to anyone else.

1. Pork egg omelette
2. Costco rotisserie chicken and rice
3. Spring rolls (usually with rotisserie chicken)
4. Rotisserie chicken pho
5. Bún bowls w/ rotisserie chicken or steak (are you sensing a pattern here? ;P)
6. Thit kho / braised pork belly (Viet-Chinese blend)
7. Kalbi
8. Bulgogi that my MIL marinates, freezes, and brings over
9. Fried pompano from Evergreen Market
10. Cabbage Patch Soup
11. Pizza, homemade
12. Pizza, from Costco
13. Oxtail soup with noodles or rice, or turned into pho with the addition of fish sauce and rice noodles (we love any of these options with kale boiled in the broth at the last minute and removed)
14. Pho Asia take out or eat-in
15. Xuxu (chayote) soup
16. Canh with ground pork meatballs and opo squash or cabbage
17. Hamburgers
18. Homemade Hamburger Helper (I modify this with oregano instead of rosemary, and with minced garlic; also I use a lot more pasta water, and don't always use the full amount of chicken stock)
19. Pasta with bulk Italian sausage, spinach, artichoke hearts, sun-dried tomatoes
20. Sheet pan chicken
21. Fried rice
22. Green bean and egg with rice
23. Dumplings (frozen), noodles, and vegetable in chicken broth
24. Cauliflower alfredo fettucine
25. Vietnamese chicken curry
26. Golden curry with chicken thighs
27. Sunday Night Stew
28. Pot roast
29. Corned beef and cabbage
30. Chile verde for tacos or rice bowls
31. BBQ beef brisket
32. Whole chicken soup with ginger and garlic
33. Chicken or pork meatball porridge with Chinese fried donut, cilantro/ginger/green onion
34. Ginger fried rice
35. Take-out sullungtang or soondubu
36. Ground pork sauce over thin spaghetti or Shandong noodles (I posted on something similar once, and have since learned a better marinade for the meat, so I might update that)
37. Ham and green beans
38. Ginger chicken - plain or with celery, bell pepper, or whatever other vegetable needs to be used up (a cross between Viet ga kho gung and Chinese ginger chicken)
39. Steamed spare ribs in black bean sauce
40. Yakisoba or japchae
41. Israeli couscous with chicken, zucchini, and tomato (I made this once with orzo and it was a hit, although also a confusing mind trip because orzo is rice-shaped.)
42. Spaghetti with the marinara on the side
43. Beef, vegetable, macaroni soup (like minestrone)

Pork egg omelette  (#1 on this list and for good reason) is my shorthand for what some may call coin-purse egg omelettes. This post on Woks of Life has good pictures of what they look like when you make them the "real" way - they really look like coin purses of egg filled with ground pork inside, and you can make them smaller to make them kid-sized. 

My mom made them this way growing up, but I do a simplified version that works for us, and is faster. It doesn't look nearly as pretty, hence the lack of pictures here, but it tastes the same to me.

You basically marinate ground pork in what my mom would call "the standard marinade" (the ingredients of which would remain a mystery to me until I got into my 30s - maybe she was waiting for me to reach Mom Status before she revealed to me these secrets??), saute the meat, then, pour beaten eggs over it.

I use my spatula to cut the "omelette" into fourths, and then carefully flip over each quarter and let them cook until set. You can add green onions if you're feeling fancy, and then serve over rice. 

This is a basic weeknight meal that usually goes over well with kids because it's not meat that requires intensive chewing. ;)

Pork Egg Omelette

Marinate 16-20 oz ground pork in salt (~1/2 t), a couple rounds of soy sauce, a swirl of sesame oil, 1-2 t corn starch, ~1/4 cup water, and couple of good shakes of ground white pepper. I usually mix this up with a fork.

Heat up a skillet over medium high heat. Add a swirl of oil, and brown all the meat. While the meat is browning, crack 3-4 eggs into a bowl, add a splash of water and beat with a fork. (Ultimately I will do this twice, so maybe you might just want to start with 6-8? For some reason, I do each batch separately.) I bet that a dash of shiaoxing wine in the egg mixture would be awesome.

When the meat is browned, remove half of it to a plate. Spread out the other half in the pan. Pour the beaten egg mixture (or half of it, if you've beat the full amount) over the ground pork and let cook until you think it's ready to cut into four pieces and flip them over. 

Repeat the process with the other half of the meat. Serve with green onions (which could have also gone into the egg), rice, and extra soy sauce for those who wish.

Emi's drawing of multi-colored fried eggs, with crocheted "chicky" on the side

--

I'll gradually work on adding more recipes for these BCPS, but feel free to comment if you'd like me to bump up a certain recipe in the queue. 

--

Also, this list seems heavily fall/winter influenced. I wonder if I'll add/update when spring and summer come around.

...which, at this rate, doesn't seem like will ever arrive.

But until then, we'll keep enjoying Kayla's snow cream (milk, sugar, and vanilla poured over snow).

Freedom + discipline = being an adult

tu: Lo shee fun is the Malaysian dish that inspired last week's post, and was good enough that Kathy requested it again this week / f: corned beef and cabbage for St. Patty's / sa: I can't share my grandmother's recipe for Hainanese Chicken Rice or I'd have to kill you, but here's a pretty good internet recipe, 

We had a busy weekend so I'm just barely getting to this post now on Tuesday. I also had to scramble to come up with a menu for this week but the blog is keeping me accountable.

Besides choosing to post here as a method of staying on top of meal planning, I've been using Trello, which Slai had suggested to me in a comment five months ago. I've come around to using it almost two months ago, when I mentioned The Menu-Planning Reboot of 2017, and I'm loving it. I really wanted to make sure my new system was sticking before I wrote about it here.

Honestly, it's been great to have a menu plan. I mean, the worse thing that can happen is, like:

Lisa to self: Really, we're going to eat __________ again today?
Self: Well, do you have any better ideas?
Lisa: Uhhh...
Self: That's what I thought.

So, the way I'm starting to see it, menu planning is just one part of #adulting. One more place where freedom and discipline do a good little dance.

If you're curious for the nitty gritty (nerdy dirty?) on how I use Trello, read on.

I only have two lists on my menu board: a list for this week's meals, and then a list for previous meals.

When I start planning for the next week, I archive the items from this week into previous, so they automatically get pushed to the bottom.

When I'm planning the current week I get ideas from our past favorites. Here's this week's menu.

I only use Trello for the initial pull, and then when I put it up on the kitchen chalkboard, I think about the best order for the week. 

I only spend a few minutes doing this, so it's relatively painless. Like I said, once it's decided, I can either go along with it and be grateful to my grown-a** self that I did this, or I can be like, "Oh, let's have _____ instead" and then run with that new idea. It's no biggie.

Also, one last CRITICAL step to this whole system working is that I then write up the shopping list and my lovely David helps me with all the shopping. SO WONDERFUL. <3

Let me know, as always, if you have any other menu planning tips, meal ideas, questions or anything you need help with!

P.S. Slai, we need this in our life, right??

P.P.S. Happy Pi Day!

How I trick myself into "cleaning"

I am not very good about chores and cleaning. I think I heard Kendra Adachi once mention that what Martha Stewart says to do once a week, she does once a month, and what MS says to do once a month, she does once a year, and what MS says to do once a year, she never does. I think I'm like that, but probably one notch even worse.

So I'm writing this because I desperately need more tips. I'll share a couple tricks I use to get myself to clean, and if you have anything to add, please let me know in the comments!

1. Set a timer.

This is usually a good stand-by. If I don't feel like cleaning, I set a timer for 5 or 10 minutes and just see how much I can get done. Usually I end up either finishing what I need to get done, or getting really into it, and working past the timer until everything is done.

2. Tell myself to pick up five things.

I don't tell myself what exactly I need to do (no one likes to be bossed around). I just pick a number (usually five) and then I do one thing, a second thing, a third thing, and so on until I reach the number. And if I've gotten momentum from doing the first five, and I start over again with five more.

3. The Dave Ramsey snowball method.

Lol, The Lazy Genius wrote about using the snowball method to pay off your TV debt (i.e., Netflix queue), and I have used the same method to clean my house. I start with the smallest mess: the dining table, and sometimes just move everything to the counter, then clean the counters, and then finish off with the sink.

Perhaps this is more a method of geography than size, but sometimes just getting something accomplished gives me that emotional boost to keep moving.

4. Address the thing that will give me the most bang for my buck.

I've recently realized that if I clear off the living room rug of toys (we don't have a coffee table because more horizontal surfaces = more clutter) I immediately feel better about the living room.

5. Have a specific order in which I do things, every single time.

I think this is one I could improve on. I find that my morning routine (i.e., the order in which I open the curtains, make the bed, change and put away my clothes, and start my coffee) really helps me be mindless about things (especially at a time of the day that I am pre-coffee). So I think I could benefit also with some other set routines for other house chores.

6. A home for everything.

This is one that I am really stuck on. It takes the most work, but I do also see that there is a ton of payoff in doing it. Any ideas on how to work on this one?

--

After I wrote this I saw this funny article entitled A Real Mom's Guide to a Clean House and it's the perfect conclusion for this.

Also, we are three week's strong on menu planning so I'm going to keep sharing it here.

m: pad thai / t: bbq chicken / w: spaghetti / th: sirloin tip roast / f: pumpkin chili / s: lentil falafel / su: lazy genius ribs

A few randoms

1. New guilty pleasure: Nashville. Connie Britton, singing, love triangles... um, swoon, basically. "No One Will Ever Love you" = so haunting I died.

2. Let's talk about meal planning for like the 50th time. I decided that not feeling ecstatic about having a set meal plan > stressing out about what we are having for dinner every day. I'm trying to think of it like Anne Lammott's shitty first drafts: my inner critic should not be criticizing until there is something to critique.

We are challenging dairy this week on the elimination diet, if you were wondering.

And if you didn't catch the post on sheet pan chicken, do it meow.

3. "Focus on being a verb, not a noun." This was referenced on the The Mom Hour podcast on radical self-care, and attributed to a poet who was on Liz Gilbert's Big Magic podcast. The poet was trying to tell an aspiring artist, "don't try to be a poet, just write poems." I really like that, and I think that is a good thing to tell myself. I don't need to try to be a blogger, I'm just going to focus on writing blog posts. Such an easy and freeing shift of perspective! 

4. Another good quote. "One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time." --Andre Gide

5. Related to #1, because I cannot get enough of Connie Britton, I am getting back into Friday Night Lights while working on a crochet project. So fun.

6. Green chocolate smoothies with mixed baby greens, rice + coconut milk, frozen banana, cocoa powder, medjool dates, and chia seeds.

Pro tip courtesy of my friend Karen: when you can't finish that box of baby greens from Costco (you know the one), freeze it so it's ready for smoothies.

7. I am not a nail polisher by any stretch of the imagination, but Kathy surprised me with this amazing bottle that looked good even when applied by someone with the nail-polishing skills of a 12-year-old boy (that's me). It gave me that my-nails-but-better look; I had no idea that what would look like a perfect neutral on me would appear so pink in the bottle. Consider me enlightened.

8. This red lentil soup. If Molly Wizenberg and Melissa Clark tell you to make something, you listen up. Follow every step, including blending half of the soup. (Though I have to admit, I held off on the salt until later because of my extreme fear of the lentils not softening. Kayla, you know what I'm talking about!)

monster trucks provided by Theo

Tell me what's up with you! Any inspiring quotes, good podcasts, satisfying meals, fun shows, tips/tricks, stupid stuff that makes you laugh?

Seven days of morning pages

"What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while." 
--Gretchen Rubin

I talked last week about committing to Morning Pages (tl;dr: handwriting three full pages, every single day). I plan to go at this for a month and see what happens. So far it's been a week.

I've been finding it challenging to get to three full pages on some days, but at least there's a production/output goal and I know when I'm done.

(It kind of surprises me how I can run out of things to say.)

(...but here I am, generating things to say about it. Ta da!)

Here are some things that helped me with it:

1. Finding the right notebook.

It helped to find a notebook that is nice enough that I want to write in it, but not so nice that I'm afraid of sullying it with my silly thoughts.

I mentioned the irony of me going out to Target to buy a notebook the other day because most people have half-finished spiral notebooks from college that would be perfect for the job. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I had gotten rid of all these things in the Purge.

I found the perfect-for-this-purpose notebook at Target: the Yoobi college-ruled spiral notebook. It was $2.29, which back when I was going to school seems kind of expensive, but it's still significantly cheaper than a $8-10 journal.

I love it because it's not stupidly sized (8"x10.5" anyone?), although, ha!, I just realized this is actually 9"x11" (so weird) and thus I've actually been forced to write more than three 8.5"x11" pages. Insert sideways glance emoji.

It has a firm cover and lays nicely, so whether you're writing on the left side or the right side, it's very sturdy. (Side note: every other day you will get to start on the "nice" side. Ha!)

2. Writing at the same time every day.

For me it works out to do it in the morning during Emilyn's first nap and when Theo is in independent play time. Morning pages takes 20-30 minutes for me.

I have been super slacking about my early wake up. (David is probably on to something when I said I should resume with that after our elimination diet is over.) I can't be consistent enough to do this before the kids wake up (and my brain probably wouldn't be awake enough either), so if's going to be during the "work day" I like getting it done at the first moment of free time I have so I can get the most possible benefit from it, and I can check it off my list.

(I think this point may not be universal. Some people may benefit more from not doing it at the same time every day. It's just what works for me.)

If I remember, I lay out my notebook and pen on top of my laptop the night before so I am reminded to do it.

3. Setting the stage for work.

It helps me to be dressed (at least jeans and shoes) and to have my face clean and moisturized. Lately when I've been trying to sit down for work I turn my phone to Do Not Disturb. Some people even go so far as to put their phones in airplane mode. I don't find that necessary for me, but I could see how that could help.

On one morning I was feeling anxious about random stuff and it prevented me from beginning well. I didn't want to do a full-blown meditation and not have enough time to write (sigh), so I set a timer for five minutes and did a self-guided body scan. I finished before the timer rang (obviously not the goal, but just fyi), and I felt way more relaxed and able to begin.

4. Coloring outside the lines.

In college, I frequently took notes on printer paper because I don't love how diagrams look on lined paper and I like to take notes in a non-linear fashion. But for this, I am trying not to freak out about crossing through lines to draw pictures, make lists, sketch mind maps, and chart out matrices.

There are no rules other than filling up three pages!

You can change the subject on yourself every paragraph, or every sentence. I insert a ton of parentheticals (duh), even though I am writing to myself. Some people say you should never go back and read them, but I've been taking a highlighter to the things that are worth referring back to.

5. Using it to hash out whatever is bothering me.

This is related to the previous point. Using non-linear ways of expression often helps me solve a problem. One day I drew a big heart and filled it in with elements/pieces that would help me feel like if they were in place, I would be living out of a whole heart. (To be honest, this exercise was from an assignment I didn't finish during the Known workshop last summer.)

The other day I made chart with three columns: (1) Topic, (2) Fear, (3) When I have acted on this topic, what happened?

That same day, I started lists entitled "What things around the house don't have a home?" and "What overwhelming-to-me things do I need to stop overthinking about, and just execute upon?"

6. Just keep going, even if I feel like I have nothing to say.

I had one day where I felt like I was seriously making up crap the whole time just to get to the finish line and at the very end, I came up with what I really needed to say, and I had to curve up the margin to fit it on the third page.

Highlighted: "You are scared to show/reveal the ways in which you are letting go of the long-held beliefs that you feel are what allow you to belong. BUT you belong. You have tried to combat fear with belief, but the antidote to fear is faith."

7. That completed my list, but I'm not sure how to transition out of a list to my conclusion, and doesn't making this point number seven just work perfectly for this piece?

With this, and in combination with what I said in my last two posts about blogging, I've decided to use my morning nap time for Morning Pages, and my afternoon nap time for working on the blog. I think I need to write specifically for this (i.e., the blog) every day, even if I'm only posting twice a week.

So that's how it's going so far, and these are notes to myself on how I might keep plugging along. I will be sure to keep you posted as things go on!

And tell me: what is your journaling style these days? How many different notebooks (physical and/or digital) do you have and what is each of their purposes?

Meta footnote be with you

(With a title like that - so sorry - be prepared for a super stream-of-consciousness post.)

Yeesh, lots of things going on in my mind these days and I am way behind on updates - Christmas, New Years, two birthday, etc.

I have been wavering* about setting up a so-called "editorial calendar" or posting schedule, but I think it could really help me approach my blog with less fear.

[*Lisa footnote: the other day I was journalling about how I am lacking structure in life but that the reason I wasn't putting it into place was because I was fearing that I was idolizing it. And yet because God made me this way, maybe that fear message was really from the Enemy. And then I realized one of the labels for my Enneagram type is "Devil's Advocate." (!) Talk about mind-blowing. And then today when I was reading Healing The Purpose of Your Life by the beloved Linns of Sleeping with Bread, they discussed how "one clue to our sealed orders will often be what we like least about ourselves" (65). I wrote in the margin, "my ability to see both sides in every situation, when taken to an extreme, leads me to paralysis / without a guiding center."**]

[**meta-footnote: this is what happens to me when I go a long time without externally processing. I go crazy!]

So. Where does this leave us? I see both sides to the situation:

1. Having a schedule allows me to write without having to think about what I'm going to write about; the topics will have already been decided.

2. Having a schedule may limit what I can write about, and might also prevent me from thinking creatively about other things beyond the plan. Also, it feels like doing what Everyone Else does.

Writing this out, I feel that the cons are somewhat lame: they are my excuse for not wanting to do this, they are what help me feel like I am taking a risk.

I think what I am discovering about myself is that what feels like no big deal to most people feels like A Very Big Deal to me.

***

One benefit of having a schedule will be less of the "random" posts where I lump 2349083284723 different types of information into one post. But until I get to this schedule, bear with me while I dump: (This is supposedly done for your benefit but also so I can close the 2349083284723 tabs open in my browser currently.)

• I loved this article on longing and limits. 
• An interesting, if not provocative, essay entitled "Is Parenthood the Enemy of Creative Work?"
• Currently making my first ever batch of kombucha!
• Okay, this is totally not me, but when I saw this my heart stopped for a second.
• Sometimes doing the most important thing on my list for the day first, even if it seems very minor and certainly not urgent (and thus it doesn't seem prioritized based on schedule optimization), can make a tremendous difference in the flow of my day.
• After listening to the Liturgists talk about meditation, I have been trying to incorporate some (you'd probably call it secular) meditation practice into my life lately. I've been doing it almost every day for over two weeks now and I think it is making a huge improvement in my stress, anxiety, and depression. I think it is also helping me have more patience with others and myself. Insert thumbs up emoji.
• Do you Bullet Journal? (Kendra has the best introduction if you need one.) I have avoided jumping on the bandwagon, despite its seeming similarities to the Moleskine hack for GTD that has worked for me so well for almost 10 years now, and which I keep going back to despite attempts at other planners/life management tools. I am wondering if it will help with my currently-very-scattered brain.
• Related: I finally bought a cheap notebook (ironic because you're probably supposed to use something cheap you have laying around the house that you don't care about, but I #konmari'd those) to do Morning Pages. I found Chris Winfield's article on it through Google today and it finally sold me on it. 
• Also related: when I read this article on the Pomodoro method of productivity on Lifehacker, I thought it was a joke / April Fools' hoax. That was last week. Then today, when clicking around on Chris Winfield's site after discovering him today, I was quite convinced of the benefit of the tool, even if it's just used as a nmemonic device, a way of reminding yourself to mono-task, and to do so for a certain amount of time. I don't have a traditional job, and I don't quite have the freedom to work in eight 25-minute shifts of work every day, but I have (usually) some moments of time to myself every day that are pretty regular (during naps, and independent playtime) that I can use to focus on specific tasks for a set amount of time. Today I made sure to not browse during naps (in general, I'm trying to not do anything while the kids are asleep that I can do while they are awake, such as cleaning, etc.). I got some reading, writing, and thinking done, AND I cleaned up the garage for 21 minutes (I set timers for 8, 7, then 6 minutes). I got a LOT done in less than one hour.
• (Back to the Bullet Journal, one final time. Because it's because I've used a makeshift BuJo for four days that I can even remember some of these randoms to tell you. The Bullet Journal centralizes things that we tend to think are more compartmentalizable. It messes with me and also jives with me. This must be related to the pendulum swing of my mind.)

Okay well I hope I didn't lose my small readership with all that cuh-RAziness! I hope to bring you some more order and structure, but that if I don't do that any time soon, please show me some grace. Thanks everyone!

Literal guidelines

Okay, you guys might already be enlightened and all, but I did a very grown-up thing the other day which is this: I looked up a video of how to properly cut up a whole raw chicken and then I did it. And it made me giddy.

Now, while I love to cook, I can't say I love touching raw meat, but no joke, this makes me want to cut up ALL THE CHICKENS.

I had no idea that it was so simple (and fun! and satisfying!) when you follow the guidelines. Literally! Literally literally. As in, there is literally a fat line you cut along order to easily separate the drumstick from the thigh - no Asian cleaver needed, no juices flying errwhere.

Because I love y'all so much, here it is. Melissa Clark on how to cut up a whole chicken.

Multiple choice prompt for your comment submissions:
(a) I already knew how to do this; I love it; I am awesome forever and ever amen.
(b) I will have to try this out; Lisa, you are the most enlightening and generous person ever!
(c) That was pretty cool, but I'm still a little grossed out by touching raw meat.
(d) Huh.

You're welcome!

A hard week

This has been a hard week. Hence, why I'm dragging myself here on a Friday, to finally write this week's post.

I've been in a funk, and (because?) my kids are going crazy. It's probably partly due to the weather: the darkness, and the cold keeping us in.

To give you an idea of how bad this week was, let me just say that I spent one whole nap-time Googling therapists and preschools. (The former for me, the latter for a certain almost-three-year-old, if you weren't clear.)

I had one of those days when I dreamed of being older and getting momnesia, being one of Those Moms.

I think it's even harder after a year of growth and realizations. Like, aren't I supposed to be a better person now? I've learned a little about self-compassion! I've been enlightened! I can live in the moment! I can be my own best friend?! Or even my own boss! And, when all else fails, "Plot twist!"

Sigh. The spirals of despair.

Anyway, I'm just going to try to keep showing up. Each and every damn day.

---

Kendra Adachi, of The Lazy Genius Collective, my newest blog/podcast love, asks these three questions of her podcast listeners at the end of every interview. I'll answer them for you and ask for you to reply with yours.

Something I love: The Road Back to You podcast. The production has improved significantly since its inception. I particularly enjoyed Reclaiming Hope (Nov 16) and How Do You Manage the Unrest in Your Soul (Nov 10).
Something I hate: Feeling overwhelmed by the aforementioned almost-three-year-old.
Something I need: Besides therapy and/or preschool, a vacation in a warm place or at least a heated swimming pool!

---

Other randoms:

• If you have smelly kitchen towels, despite any and all past efforts of washing in borax/vinegar/baking soda/etc. in the laundry machine, try: boiling them in 1/4-1/2 cup baking soda on your stove for 20-30 minutes. In addition to smelling so clean (i.e., not smelling like anything), my flour sacks are more absorbent now, too! You're welcome.
• If you need to watch the stupidest stupid thing ever, check this out. If it's not funny to you, just watch it again.
• My friend Jason said, "for someone who's not on Facebook, you sure like a lot of dumb videos." This is for having also insisted that we watch Christopher Walken's Googly Eyes video before dinner. (Is Walken a 6, needing to know where he stands with something?)
• I've signed up for a sort of continuation of the workshop I took this summer, called The Year of Creativity. If you're interested, I have a referral link that will get you 10% off and then $10 for me. 
• Instead of doing a full elimination diet just yet, I've tried cutting out gluten for Emilyn and me. So far it's making a big difference for Emilyn, and a questionable difference for me. 

Love. Hate. Need. Go!

Friendsgiving 2016

I gotta put together a slap-bang post before Thanksgiving because sometimes done is better than perfect.

Although, perfect is: this beautiful sign that Kayla made for our Friendsgiving last Sunday with all the young families from church.

Less than perfect is: the quality of my pictures. I really need to clean off my phone from grubby hands. (You think I'm talking about my children, but I'm not.) (Although! Emilyn has been doing the cutest thing which is to put her play phone to her ear whenever we say, "Hello?")

The party was a huge success and I wanted to share some of aspects I thought made it so.

It was a potluck, and the Evite "What To Bring" section enabled us to guide people towards covering all the necessary components to a complete spread. 

I divvied food up into smaller "bites," if you will, so that people could pick and choose a couple things together if that was easier than tackling a big item. 

Asking someone to bring cider and a bag of ice guaranteed that our drinks would be cold, even if they wouldn't be refrigerated during church. I also separately requested a 1/2 lb decaf beans to be brought.

I'm learning to delegate, because even when it's a potluck, there can end up being a lot of last minute purchases that add expenses for the host. This way you have margin to splurge on other fun (or necessary) ideas that come up later.

David and I provided the turkey, and since this was a casual gathering, I felt the freedom to not have to present a beautiful (some have called it "stunt") turkey at the table. This would have been really challenging anyway, seeing as the function immediately followed service on Sunday.

So, we roasted the turkey on Friday (since David was off then but had to work on Saturday). I have never before made a turkey in such a relaxed ("not agitated" to be Earnest) manner. It was marvelous.

At 4 o'clock on a relaxed afternoon without any company expected, we got to eat the crispy skin off (ha) and then when it cooled, we sliced and refrigerated the meat to be warmed up in gluten-free (i.e., just corn starch, no flour) gravy in a crock pot on Sunday morning. Crock pot FTW again.

Pro-tip: multi-purposing cups as name cards.

The only other elements of "structure" (I really had to restrain myself here) were a Mad Lib and a brief sharing of everyone's highlight of the year and a challenge of the year.

decorations? activity? "agenda"?

There were four babies in the group that had been born within the last year so the majority of the answers to highlights and challenges was babies. (We laughed when we discovered repeatedly that so many people's "favorite activity" on the Mad Lib was sleeping.)

Kayla was an awesome co-host and I personally had a blast doing this with her. When everyone left (which was late, another good sign), I noticed that I felt so filled up, both literally and figuratively.

Happy Thanksgiving!

P.S. If you need more, check out our 2014 Thanksgiving or revisit the letter I wrote mysef aboout hosting parties.

Dear future self,

Here are some tips for parties you are going to host in the future because you love to host parties but hate how sometimes doing stuff you love stresses you out:

1. You are creative, so be creative. You don't have to follow all the rules to have a great event, and who wants to go to a party where the rules are the same as always?

2. Make lists of whatever is on your mind and don't be afraid to re-write those lists as the formulation and envisionment of your plans change, or as the days go by and the items are crossed out and it's closer to game time and you need your list to look very different.

3. Don't be afraid to start just because you have no idea how the heck these lists need to look for you to "feel" organized. Ignore the voice that tells you, "You've planned so many parties and you still don't know how to frame your plan?!"

4. Delegate as much as you can, especially the stuff you don't like to do. There are people out there who would love to do decorations, or plan a game.

5. Even better, cut out the stupid stuff. It's okay to have a party without favors. And it's okay for there not to be a gift-opening time at a baby shower where everyone has to sit and watch the mom-to-be seem surprised while opening everything she already saw was purchased on her registry, and which she put on there in the first place. Plus, she will really like the way you allocated time for the guests to give her their gifts and sneak in some one-on-one time.

6. Even though you dislike excess, plan one or two special touches that you are really excited about, like that blueberry lemon mint infused water. It's so beautiful!

7. If you're hosting at an off-site location, count on having to schlep all your stuff. There are tools that make your job (or the way you like to do your job) easier, and yes, it's annoying to have to bring them with you. But do it anyway. Empty out laundry baskets in advance for this cause. You'll be glad when you can use your stainless steel mini tongs for serving and your tent cards for labeling the dishes.

8. Do, do, do. As much as you love/hate the planning and the analyzing part, you also have to actually do stuff. Break things up into really small bite-sized pieces. Don't be embarrassed about writing down those baby steps on your aforementioned lists. You're a mom, and sometimes to get anything done you have to do it one teensy tiny bite at a time. Do as many of those baby steps as you can in advance. (But don't mix cut strawberries with sliced lemons for your other infused water ahead of time; the strawberries will bleed and you will be sad.)

9. Before/during the party, empower people to jump in and help; they don't need to ask questions of you. Give people enough information about the big pictures and let them know that they can do whatever they see needs to get done in order to have the event run smoothly. They can refill drinks when they see them getting low, refill serving platters, or clear plates. They don't need your permission. (And don't forget to send these people home with all the leftovers, so they can eat on them for a week.)

10, Finally, bring these napkins, but not to the baby shower, duh.

13. Mindfully, then mindlessly

I started a new book with serendipitous resonances to what I've been thinking about: Gretchen Rubin's Better Than Before. I'm only a few chapters in but I love how she dives right into some very compelling points. She posits that a habit becomes something you have already decided, which takes the decision-making - and thus the dependence upon self-control - out of the equation. It's mindful, and then it's mindless. Or numbing.

I bought and started the above-pictured habit tracker in the beginning of July, and chose "get up before the kids" in preparation for my writing workshop, knowing that I'd need to build more time into my day. I am so far from being a morning person that I made this mini-goal of waking up only 25 minutes before I have to get Emilyn up. Of course, when I started this, both kids started waking up on their own way earlier than my goal. Little stinkers. Fortunately, it got better quickly.

I love showing up early for everything else in my life (early is on time, on time is late, late is unacceptable), and yet it's so hard for me to show up early for my life. Does anyone have tips for waking up early? I want more for myself but I still feel like death whenever the alarm clock rings.*

Of course the other goal/habit has been this project of blogging almost-daily. At first it was a leap; it was really hard the first few days, and then it got way better. I didn't even notice that the agony/anguish has been reduced significantly until I was telling a friend about it yesterday. (Yup, looking back, I was experiencing peak anguish on days three and five.) Once I decided, the decision-making was no longer taking up energy.

What habits have you successfully added to your life / would you like to start?

_____________
* Since drafting this post earlier this afternoon, I read far enough into Rubin's book to see that she recommends working within the "type" of person you are when developing habits; the first designation listed is owl/lark. Ha! (As I finish revising to post at 10:25 p.m...) And, yes, I do realize that waking up even at 7:20 is not considered very early to many people.

P.S. Also, just did reverse meal planning. Mind blown. Perfect for us rebels!

Call us overachievers

I apologize for the hiatus. We've been really busy over here, having early Thanksgivings both in California and here at home in Seattle.

You could call us overachievers.

This year we experimented with having Thanksgiving dinner on Wednesday night. I once overheard a co-worker say that his family did it that way. It seemed brilliant to me - get all the hard work done on a day everyone is working anyway, and then enjoy all of Thursday off, when everyone is home from work and school.

So we tried it this year. Knowing that I would have an almost 11-month old on my hands (and under my feet), I started preparing almost a week in advance.

A new rug I couldn't resist getting to spruce up the place for the holiday. My father-in-law called it Theo's magic carpet.

So last week my friend Karen came over for dinner* and we hashed out menu plans and decorations. I told her that I'm not into the "newfangled stuff" - I love brussels sprouts (not being sarcastic), but in my opinion they do not belong on a Thanksgiving table.

We agreed on a classic menu of turkey, gravy (two boats, just being realistic here), mashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sauce, peas, and rolls.

Sketching out which serving dishes I plan to use helps ensure I'm not stressing about it at the last minute.

Karen offered to bring appetizers (spanakopita (!) and eggrolls) as well as Connie's Corn Casserole, which turned out to be the most amazing thing we had ever had. At the table, Kenny dubbed it "corn butter."

"Corn butter" on the bottom right. David generously offered for it to be placed next to him.

With everyone at work/school and a baby who doesn't nap very much anymore, I knew I needed to plan ahead as much as a could, down to the details.

David and I broke down the cleaning and set-up tasks and spread them out over the days before The Dinner. When we finished an item we got to move the post-it note to the back. (Ah!)

This was by no means the complete list.

And I didn't stop there. I also made an Excel spreadsheet. Yes, you heard that right.

I totally nerded out and it was awesome.

Planning ahead allowed me to develop shortcuts that made the day of so easy. Here are the things I would do again next year in a heartbeat, whether or not Thanksgiving was on Wednesday or Thursday or in the middle of November:

• prepare all the vegetables for the stuffing the day before. When I cooked the stuffing, it was like a cooking show as I dumped already chopped veggies into the pan. (BTW, Mom, everyone loved your stuffing recipe.)
• start the stock for gravy and stuffing in a crockpot the night before. David also set the turkey in the roasting pan and in the fridge the night before so all I had to do was pull it out.
• make the mashed potatoes a couple hours before dinner and keep them warm in a crockpot. (Karen lent me hers so I had two to work with.)

Also, next year I'm definitely asking my sister-in-law to bring dessert again. She made the most amazing pumpkin cheesecake ever!

Diana thought she made a mistake and put "too much" sugar in the crust, but we just proclaimed that PAULA DEEN MADE A MISTAKE when writing the recipe and didn't include the amount Diana used.

We had a lovely dinner with way too much laughter. I asked Kenny to serve the mashed potatoes. He kept trying to give people HUGE portions. By the end of the meal, we were calling Kenny a "potato pusher." Karen caught David "trying to go horizontal" after the meal. We ended the evening with drawing names for our gift exchange and sharing what we were thankful for. (Kenny was - you guessed it - thankful for potatoes.)

I called my parents this morning. They were on the road driving somewhere for breakfast, and because my mom and I had hosted our Thanksgiving there two weeks ago, my dad named us the two most relaxed moms on Thanksgiving day.

Karen said it best when she said that having our dinner last night was like "getting our homework done before it's even Saturday."

I'm looking forward to this day lounging with family and eating leftovers. On the menu so far is turkey pho for lunch (!!!) and turkey enchiladas for dinner (!!!!).

My mom got these cute animal placecard holders on a missions trip to Africa.

So I heartily commend to you having Thanksgiving dinner on Wednesday nights. 

Happy Thanksgiving all!

_______________________________________

* We had a true Dave Ramsey dinner, beans and rice and torn-in-half napkins. Actually, truth be told, Karen tore off and used the "less used" portion (her words, not mine) of a paper towel David brought back from the hospital cafeteria. I tried not to feel too embarrassed, but in actuality I have to love the shared frugality Karen and I have.