Yes week

My journey of coming into my own as a parent in the Northwest has felt not unlike what I imagine it would be like to train for a marathon in higher altitudes. There are so many days when I think, it'd be so much easier for me to do this in the Bay Area - easier weather on me and the kids, and the support of family.

But then there are days I look up (or maybe slow down) and realize that all my effort and striving is actually providing sweeter fruit. And I am stronger for having worked harder at this thing called life.

I so resonated with my friend Christine's recent post, where she talked about slowing down being the perfect (if not unexpected) antidote to the stress of busyness.

Parenting a two- and four-year old feels relentless most days (especially when observed from the span of a week, or a month, or a year), so when I find those moments when I manage to sink deeper into the mess of whatever is that moment, or better yet, when I can contribute to that mess in my own way, I actually find that the time passes more quickly. Or is it rather that the passage of time ceases to matter so much? We're just here, fully in this moment.

We fell/flowed into a pretty creative groove this week. It may have started when my friend Kayla texted me this how-to draw your own mandala blog post.

When the kids were out with David on a quick errand, I brewed myself a cup of ginger turmeric tea, borrowed a compass from Kathy, and got started on the template.

Half an hour into it, the kids ran in and wanted to join me. We keep art supplies somewhat reachable for them whenever they want, so they both climbed up and started their own projects. I didn't say anything about what I was doing, so it was fascinating to see Emilyn draw her circles. Theo noticed the compass and wanted me to show him how to use it. His first drawing here is within those penciled circles, and his next one is completely his own creation.

Another day I had had some weird time block to fill, so I cut up a cereal box into a puzzle - the front panel into 12 pieces for Theo, and the back into 6 pieces for Emilyn. They were occupied for a solid 25 minutes.

And then just today I made some playdough. They have been loving it at other people's houses (you know, where the nice moms live). I'm not a huge fan (who is?) but today I felt like making it. I had some old whole wheat flour that was going a little stale (lol) so I guess I made hippie playdough.

It made me happy dance inside to see Theo with it. First of all, he helped me with mixing and kneading it, and then when I came back upstairs from waking Emilyn up, I saw that he had split the dough into two piles, placing one of them in front of a chair for his sister.

First, Theo made a snowman. (If you look closely above, you can see a snowman with a tiny head and no midsection.)

Next, he opened up a soup/noodles/dumpling shop and asked me what I wanted from the "calendar" (menu). He then asked if I wanted it "hand shaved" (as opposed to hand cut, the other option available at King Noodle).

Finally, he started rolling balls of cookie dough, so that his customers could "enjoy it." I was most impressed by the uniformity of his balls. I think he's learned from watching Kathy bake.

***

When I talked to my counselor today I was trying to figure out why exactly this spontaneous week of creativity was so life-giving for me as their mom. I figured out that it's because I got to create as well, not just set them up for creating. I got to draw, and so I cared less about what they did (and yet they blew me out of the water with their drawings). I got to make playdough and so it didn't matter how much they enjoyed the playdough. I cut up the puzzle using stuff we already had and which was going to the recycling bin anyway.

It's a little like what Dave Ramsey refers to as happy-happy situations - happy if it works out and happy if it doesn't. I didn't spend a million dollars or buy products with tons of packaging.

I recently listened to a podcast where they talked about a "yes hour" - when you actually say yes to your kids instead of the usual no along with the litany of excuses why not. It can be such a good reset. And while I did not tell any people under the age of 5 that we are having a "yes week" I think I have succeeded in shaking things up.

***

Closing randoms:

Kendra of The Lazy Genius has been killing it lately with her podcasts. Her recent two series on routine and summer have inspired and guided me.

Also really blessed by Emily P. Freeman's podcast The Next Right Thing. (Maybe listen from the beginning?? Recent memorable episodes are number 25 and 34.)

Made these raspberry yogurt popsicles last week. It's the second time I've made them and I was still weirded out by the Pepto-Bismol look of them when you're blending it up. But it freezes beautifully. If you have a Vitamix I recommend not trying to blitz the seeds to pieces or else they won't go through the strainer as well and you'll end up with even more seediness. Third time's the charm, I guess. (Also, Molly says she reduces the sugar from 3/4 cup down to 1/2 cup now. Go with your gut, I've done both.)

(Last year's post on popsicles. And have I not yet posted about golden milk popsicles??)

Mango sticky rice is always a good idea.

How I trick myself into "cleaning"

I am not very good about chores and cleaning. I think I heard Kendra Adachi once mention that what Martha Stewart says to do once a week, she does once a month, and what MS says to do once a month, she does once a year, and what MS says to do once a year, she never does. I think I'm like that, but probably one notch even worse.

So I'm writing this because I desperately need more tips. I'll share a couple tricks I use to get myself to clean, and if you have anything to add, please let me know in the comments!

1. Set a timer.

This is usually a good stand-by. If I don't feel like cleaning, I set a timer for 5 or 10 minutes and just see how much I can get done. Usually I end up either finishing what I need to get done, or getting really into it, and working past the timer until everything is done.

2. Tell myself to pick up five things.

I don't tell myself what exactly I need to do (no one likes to be bossed around). I just pick a number (usually five) and then I do one thing, a second thing, a third thing, and so on until I reach the number. And if I've gotten momentum from doing the first five, and I start over again with five more.

3. The Dave Ramsey snowball method.

Lol, The Lazy Genius wrote about using the snowball method to pay off your TV debt (i.e., Netflix queue), and I have used the same method to clean my house. I start with the smallest mess: the dining table, and sometimes just move everything to the counter, then clean the counters, and then finish off with the sink.

Perhaps this is more a method of geography than size, but sometimes just getting something accomplished gives me that emotional boost to keep moving.

4. Address the thing that will give me the most bang for my buck.

I've recently realized that if I clear off the living room rug of toys (we don't have a coffee table because more horizontal surfaces = more clutter) I immediately feel better about the living room.

5. Have a specific order in which I do things, every single time.

I think this is one I could improve on. I find that my morning routine (i.e., the order in which I open the curtains, make the bed, change and put away my clothes, and start my coffee) really helps me be mindless about things (especially at a time of the day that I am pre-coffee). So I think I could benefit also with some other set routines for other house chores.

6. A home for everything.

This is one that I am really stuck on. It takes the most work, but I do also see that there is a ton of payoff in doing it. Any ideas on how to work on this one?

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After I wrote this I saw this funny article entitled A Real Mom's Guide to a Clean House and it's the perfect conclusion for this.

Also, we are three week's strong on menu planning so I'm going to keep sharing it here.

m: pad thai / t: bbq chicken / w: spaghetti / th: sirloin tip roast / f: pumpkin chili / s: lentil falafel / su: lazy genius ribs