20. Anti-climactic?

In Better Than Before, Rubin talks about tailoring your rewards for your habits to your habit. Rather than sabotaging your goals by saying things like, "when I lose 10 pounds, I'll reward myself with a piece of chocolate cake" she suggests that you come up with rewards that encourage you to continue your habits. For example, in this case the reward could be nice exercise clothes that you love, or a new set of knives that make cooking at home easier. One company she referenced did something that made me chuckle. They rewarded employees who used the employee gym 75 times in a year with a free membership the following year. Your reward is more exercise!

I mention this because when I told David last night that I'd be finishing my project today we talked about what my reward should be. Without missing a beat, he said, "Your reward is five more blog posts!" It's true though, the best habits are when the reward is the habit itself. I have loved getting to write more, having an outlet that has nothing to do with my kids or with anything, with no pressures except myself. I have learned more about myself and I have increased my hope and energy for life.

So my reward for writing is that I'm going to write more. Anti-climactic, right? Or is it? (Cue ominous music.) Anyhoo, I'm still completely on the fence about whether I will write on the same schedule or less frequently. I am slightly freaked out that going to not-everyday will make me lose the habit. There are still other creative things I want to do, so I'll have to figure that out. For example, you've noticed I haven't posted many recipes lately because I've been writing, not cooking, duh. And you can't see my family because they've grown so thin from the lack of food around here.

My friend Christine has been one of my inspirations and I might try her pattern of either MWF or TTh. The main thing is carving out time for pursuing creative passions (and/or vocation/vacation and non-conformity) every single day. However much or little I post here, I'll plan to check-in in a month about how I feel about my new rhythm.

Writing and posting here shall be a sort of accountability that I'm keeping up with any and all of these things. Either way, thank you to all of you for following along on my journey and being a wonderfully supportive audience! I'll keep up with some regularity as best as I can.

I don't think I mentioned this quote from the podcast I praised so highly at the beginning of my project. Brown and Gilbert (ooh going to last names now to shake things up) propose changing the question, "What would you do if you knew you could not fail?" to "What would you do, even if you knew you might fail?" In other words, "What's worth doing even if I fail?" I think for me the answer to the question at least today, is just to keep trying, exploring, and being curious. Super broad and vague but I'm embracing that.

I'm very intrigued by the concept raised in Rubin's book, being a "data point of one," but nonetheless "a very convincing data point." The project I created here was so random, almost ex nihilo, but I am stunned by everything I discovered in pursuing this thirty day (but twenty posts) project.

So now that I've reached my goal, can I have some fruit tart?

17. Keep pedalling

"Habits are a great servant but a bad master" -- Gretchen Rubin's take on Francis Bacon

I suggested on Day 15 that I might wrap up this project when my original commitment comes to a close, but since starting Gretchen Rubin's book about habits on Day 13, I've wondered if giving myself permission to drop this habit will be to my detriment.

It's always a question of balance, of how you achieve the maximum amount of fulfillment with the least amount of effort, as well as having enough but not too much. Have I gotten out of this project what I want? What should I hold on to and what do I need to let go of so I can move on to other things?

When I began my 30 days of blogging (i.e., 20 posts when I give myself weekends off; I know that's confusing, but I made up the rules, and hey, if that was an awkward mistake, I learned something by doing something), I didn't necessarily see it as trying out a habit. But I have come to see that it has very much functioned as a habit; making a decision that removes the decision-making process out of it. I don't have to ask, "Do I feel like writing today?" "Is what I wrote 'good enough' to be posted today?" Nope. That decision has already been made. I'm going to write, I'm going to post.

It's been incredibly freeing.



P.S. Another housekeeping note. I'm realizing that my replies to your comments don't necessarily go to you unless you subscribe to be notified of all comments, and that seems a bit excessive. I've thus been a bit lame about replying in recent days, even though I'd like to be the type of person who responds to all the comments. This might mean I need to figure out another way, or to overhaul the system, or to just text/email you personally if you comment. I just wanted to let you know that I'm aware of the issue and I am thinking about a solution.

13. Mindfully, then mindlessly

I started a new book with serendipitous resonances to what I've been thinking about: Gretchen Rubin's Better Than Before. I'm only a few chapters in but I love how she dives right into some very compelling points. She posits that a habit becomes something you have already decided, which takes the decision-making - and thus the dependence upon self-control - out of the equation. It's mindful, and then it's mindless. Or numbing.

I bought and started the above-pictured habit tracker in the beginning of July, and chose "get up before the kids" in preparation for my writing workshop, knowing that I'd need to build more time into my day. I am so far from being a morning person that I made this mini-goal of waking up only 25 minutes before I have to get Emilyn up. Of course, when I started this, both kids started waking up on their own way earlier than my goal. Little stinkers. Fortunately, it got better quickly.

I love showing up early for everything else in my life (early is on time, on time is late, late is unacceptable), and yet it's so hard for me to show up early for my life. Does anyone have tips for waking up early? I want more for myself but I still feel like death whenever the alarm clock rings.*

Of course the other goal/habit has been this project of blogging almost-daily. At first it was a leap; it was really hard the first few days, and then it got way better. I didn't even notice that the agony/anguish has been reduced significantly until I was telling a friend about it yesterday. (Yup, looking back, I was experiencing peak anguish on days three and five.) Once I decided, the decision-making was no longer taking up energy.

What habits have you successfully added to your life / would you like to start?

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* Since drafting this post earlier this afternoon, I read far enough into Rubin's book to see that she recommends working within the "type" of person you are when developing habits; the first designation listed is owl/lark. Ha! (As I finish revising to post at 10:25 p.m...) And, yes, I do realize that waking up even at 7:20 is not considered very early to many people.

P.S. Also, just did reverse meal planning. Mind blown. Perfect for us rebels!