Thin slices of joy

If you may recall from my can-it-just-be-spring-already? goals list, one of the things I committed to do was to keep track of moments of joy in every day. My friend Stephanie commented on that post and left a link to an article about a Google engineer who has taught people to use the tools of mindfulness to find "thin slices of joy" in their days. I thought that was helpful language, and even the image of that (i.e., those "thin slices") gives me joy.

After publishing that post, I had the idea to use the monthly view on my (paper) calendar to keep track of the moment (or moments) of joy in each square. There was something satisfying about using a calendar as a to-done list more than a to-do, and incidentally it makes it easy to report here on my blog what my thin slices of joy were for the remainder of April since writing that post.

19 | the sweetest puppies ever befriended me, Theo, and Emilyn at the park
20 | good and open conversation; going antiquing downtown (we had randomly decided to go that day, and discovered when we got there that they were suppose to close by the time we arrived, but there happened to be a special event that day that meant they were open later than usual!)

The universe sent me a message at the antique store.

21 | a crazy sunny day which led to a picnic and basketball game with extended family
22 | a neighbor walking across the street to introduce herself when I was out on a walk because she's seen me walking for years

Also from April 22: the color of Thai banana contrasted against chia seed pudding. (Should I just title this post thin slices of yellow/sunshine/happiness?)

23 | working on a blog post that made me excited; cooking ginger chicken and a new Viet soup that I knew Kathy would really enjoy
24 | sunshine (again!); getting to bring dinner over to a neighbor's and eat together
25 | the coconut popsicles from my postscript were really delicious
26 | thrifting and finding awesome books I actually wanted; great dinner/conversation with a friend; listening to a very good podcast
27 | sunshine (yet again!)
28 | playing outside with the kids with my new Bluetooth speakers (why didn't I get these earlier?!) projecting Renee & Jeremy (but alas, also the day I felt dumb trying to figure out Stories on Instagram, thank you slai for trying to make me feel better); providing a recipe and all the ingredients for my sis-in-law to make dinner at her home, which her family ended up loving*

(*If you haven't made sheet pan chicken yet, you are really missing out. Seriously, unless you're a vegetarian or you're allergic to delicious food, you should not be living one more day without this in your life. Sorry to be so bossy. I really need to stop over-selling it and risk you being disappointed. Like, maybe I should change the title of the post to "It's just rice and chicken, nbd.")

29 | conversation with a friend
30 | surprising a friend with a chai at church without even knowing she had forgotten to make her tea that morning (!); going to the Indian buffet by myself (Butter Chicken for President!)

The weird (but perhaps not really that weird) thing is that after I decided to do this whole thin slices of joy thing, my days actually did get better. Even the weather got (incrementally) better. Yes, three sunny days out of 12 is not that great, but I noticed - and savored - those brighter days.

The real trick will be whether this will work in the dead of winter... so friends, if I feel crummy in the winter of 2017/2018, please ask me if I'm doing this still, and remind me to go visit my in-laws to get a break. (I can just go back to the mountain top, right, Marla?)

Anyway, I'm definitely keeping up in May and I invite you to join along!

And now here's this week's menu:

Chicken curry. Do it. 

YOU GUYS. Posting this menu was my TENTH TIME doing a weekly menu plan and sharing it. Can I just pat myself on the back here? I am so darn proud of myself.

P.S. Let it be known that when I left my computer and came back, David had changed my notes to: thin slices of joy pork belly

P.P.S. My friend Kayla texted me this article about self-care vs. "resourcing" and of course I loved it because the author talks about the function and efficacy of word choice, and while neither Kayla nor I personally resonated with her specific choice of "resourcing," I did enjoy the resourcefulness of her choosing a word that helped her focus on self-care more easily. (This is all in reference to my preferring to think about what I'm "thankful" for vs. what I'm "grateful" for.)

Unmoored

Hi! I just need to check in and make sure I write/post after a week of vacation in Richmond, VA. It was so needed, more than I knew, and it's a little hard coming back to the grey and the gloom.

I don't know if the negative/blah feelings have to do with the weather, the environment, the lack of support I perceive, or if it's spiritual warfare, but for one week I was able to escape from it, and coming back I am reminded of how much I feel unmoored here.

So I'm contriving some goals (RIGHT NOW as I write this) and publishing them here to keep myself afloat until I feel better.

1. Get in my 10,000 steps. I had been doing really well with walking until the really cold months and I want to pick it up again.

2. Keep blogging. Sometimes it's hard to generate content, but the discipline is good for me. I feel like I'm trying to beat this depression like they do in AA, one day at a time.

3. Keep menu planning and keep cooking. I feel "flow" (as defined by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi) when I'm cooking: it's the perfect creative thing for me that's neither too easy nor too challenging to really enjoy myself. I've recently noticed that ethereal quality of "feeling at home with myself" (love that phrase from this article) while cooking lately, and I really treasure that, because I don't experience that feeling very often anymore these days.

4. Per my previous post, I'm going to try to meet up with friends more than once a week. I can't control the outcome (i.e., feeling socially energized or emotionally satisfied), but I can choose my actions.

5. Start a "thankful" list. I've talked once about how the word "gratitude" rubs me wrong, and I've since heard one other blogger/podcaster talk about it too, so it's not just me. It's funny how word choice can make such a big difference. I find I'm more empowered when I say "I'm thankful for..." or "I appreciate..." than when I say "I'm so grateful..." so if that's what it takes for me to be a more thankful person, I'll take it. With this goal, I will write down one thing I'm thankful for (or a moment that gave me joy) every day for a month, or til the end of May, and then see how it goes for me.

6. Be more open to how God is at work in my life. I'm on this interesting journey right now where I feel upside down with my faith. So much doesn't make sense to me, and it's hard to articulate what exactly that is. (Molly, your email had me thinking all week and I'm working on a response for you.)

7. Drink more water. (This was added to this list somewhat facetiously, because what list of goals does not including drinking more water?)

Alright, there it is, for everyone to see. Now I have to do it!

P.S. Anyone watched or watching 13 Reasons Why on Netflix? Let's discuss! (I took some notes on my phone while watching, marked by episode, so I can "live"-discuss with you without spoilers. Text me!)

P.P.S. Most ironic moment today: using the dictation function on my phone to send a text to communicate the acronym "LOL."

Morning pages, a month later

I'm here to report that, one month later, I'm still doing morning pages, although I've allowed myself to stop at two pages (they are, as I mentioned before, 9 x 11, so that counts for something, right?). Something about always being able to start on the fresh side of the page every day as opposed to every other day makes a difference for silly people like me.

I've also concluded that for me, morning pages are simply a discipline that doesn't usually result in anything in and of itself, but allows everything else in the rest of the day to flow much more smoothly.

I kind of see it like turning on a water tap after being away for a while - it sputters and spits out for a bit, but after a little time running, it then flows clean and smoothly.

The exercise is the crappy first scribble before the crappy first draft.

On the days I don't do them (I've skipped a couple weekend mornings), I've found myself stumbling on one thing or another because I haven't gotten "it" out there, whatever "it" is.

Essentially, it's free therapy, so for now I am going to keep plugging along.

If I'm not feeling good, have I:

• gone on a walk? / spent time outside?
• eaten?
• texted a friend?
• written out what's on my mind?
• had enough water?
• prayed?
• finished the most critical thing on my to-do list?
• meditated?
• cleaned up the kitchen counter and my desk?
• had my vitamins?
• made art?
• had a second cup of coffee?
• taken a nap?

What's on your list of things that help you feel better?