Instead

this new book, system, or routine

    a bullet journal

    morning pages

    exercising

i take a risk

start a hobby

scribble with my left hand

all of these life rafts, buoys, and rings

tossed out at me

i cling to them for dear life

when i forget 

that i

                             already

know and love

how to swim

or that              i can

just

                                    float.