WIFI
Network: **********
Password: **************
BATHROOM
There’s one upstairs and one downstairs. The light switch for the upstairs one is on the outside. There are no bathrooms on the main level, which might be good to know if you are currently being potty trained.
We have bidets. They are warm and lovely. If you want instructions on the washing functions, you can find them suctioned to the inside of the upstairs medicine cabinet (the one with a mirror).
Bath towels are on top of the bathroom cabinet; hand towels are rolled up in the cabinet. The woven basket on the floor has clean towels; they’re just not folded (something you could do for us if you get bored). They are for any purpose: face, toothpaste splatters, hair. When you’re done using a towel, it can be tossed down the laundry chute (located under the bathroom cabinet).
FOOD
Please help yourself to anything; there’s no need to ask, although you certainly can if you need ideas. Go ahead and peek in the fridge; we know you want to. Unless something is labeled with someone’s name on it, it’s all up for grabs. In fact, please take our leftovers. We're tired of them.
Network: **********
Password: **************
BATHROOM
There’s one upstairs and one downstairs. The light switch for the upstairs one is on the outside. There are no bathrooms on the main level, which might be good to know if you are currently being potty trained.
We have bidets. They are warm and lovely. If you want instructions on the washing functions, you can find them suctioned to the inside of the upstairs medicine cabinet (the one with a mirror).
Bath towels are on top of the bathroom cabinet; hand towels are rolled up in the cabinet. The woven basket on the floor has clean towels; they’re just not folded (something you could do for us if you get bored). They are for any purpose: face, toothpaste splatters, hair. When you’re done using a towel, it can be tossed down the laundry chute (located under the bathroom cabinet).
FOOD
Please help yourself to anything; there’s no need to ask, although you certainly can if you need ideas. Go ahead and peek in the fridge; we know you want to. Unless something is labeled with someone’s name on it, it’s all up for grabs. In fact, please take our leftovers. We're tired of them.
BEVERAGES
We do drink the tap water. (Don't worry, we've been acting weird since before that.)
We do drink the tap water. (Don't worry, we've been acting weird since before that.)
There’s a contraption by the sink that keeps hot water all the time for tea, coffee, and, well, hot water. (Lisa’s fave is about a 60:40 ratio between hot water and tap water.) Press “unlock” and then “dispense” in order to get hot water. It comes out a little fast, and it drips about two times after you let go of the dispense button, so just beware.
Teas can be found in the bamboo organizer on the open shelves under the mugs. There is also a tea drawer with a larger selection in the right-hand drawer between the pantry shelves.
We have instant coffee (gasp! Yes, this is what having children does to you, the horror!) If David is around, he would be thrilled to brew you a cup. We usually keep heavy cream in the fridge for coffee. Lisa can make coffee, too… she’s just not as professional about it. Some people have been known to call David “bro-rista”.
If you’re tall enough to reach the liquor without a stool, you’re welcome to it, as long as your parents are okay with it, too.
Teas can be found in the bamboo organizer on the open shelves under the mugs. There is also a tea drawer with a larger selection in the right-hand drawer between the pantry shelves.
We have instant coffee (gasp! Yes, this is what having children does to you, the horror!) If David is around, he would be thrilled to brew you a cup. We usually keep heavy cream in the fridge for coffee. Lisa can make coffee, too… she’s just not as professional about it. Some people have been known to call David “bro-rista”.
If you’re tall enough to reach the liquor without a stool, you’re welcome to it, as long as your parents are okay with it, too.
CELL PHONE POLICY
We refrain from using our smart phones (i.e., checking and sending texts, taking calls, researching, etc.) on the main level of our house. We encourage the use of them on the wood stairs, in the up/downstairs rooms, and on the front patio, especially when the sun in shining. We kindly ask you to embrace our policy while you are visiting. There is a cell phone basket located on the white bookshelf when you enter, as well as a couple of chargers in the dark brown basket.
Please note: this policy does not extend to tablets or laptops, simply to personal phone-like devices.
Feel free to ask to borrow a tablet if you want to show us a funny video. We need to see it.
We refrain from using our smart phones (i.e., checking and sending texts, taking calls, researching, etc.) on the main level of our house. We encourage the use of them on the wood stairs, in the up/downstairs rooms, and on the front patio, especially when the sun in shining. We kindly ask you to embrace our policy while you are visiting. There is a cell phone basket located on the white bookshelf when you enter, as well as a couple of chargers in the dark brown basket.
Please note: this policy does not extend to tablets or laptops, simply to personal phone-like devices.
Feel free to ask to borrow a tablet if you want to show us a funny video. We need to see it.
SPACE / NAPS
You’ll find paper to write or draw on in the back of this binder. Our kids would also be happy to show you where markers and other coloring implements can be found.
We’re firm believers in the nap, even if you are not an overnight guest. If you need to lay your head down for 5-17 minutes, we get it. You don’t even need to tell us about it.
If at any time during your visit you need a quiet place to regroup, please feel free to ask if our bedroom is available. The kids’ bedroom are also available most of the times. There’s no shame in laying down in a 6 year old’s bed for a little shut-eye. (Naps are lost on the young.)
TRASH / COMPOST / RECYCLING / ETC.
Yes, we have a lot of trash cans and trash can-like receptacles. Don’t be shy about asking us what goes where. But hopefully we can eliminate some confusion here.
Chickens: Any food except chocolate, eggshells, and citrus. (Apparently, garlic and onions will make the eggs taste “weird”, but wouldn’t garlic-flavored eggs be DELICIOUS???). We don’t always have a “chicken pail” out, so you might have to take this food out yourself. Feel free to dispose of food in the compost if that’s easier for you.
Compost: White circular garbage can under the coffee station. What goes in here besides food that we’re too lazy to take to the chickens?
Trash: Everything else that doesn’t fit into one of the above categories. Main receptacles in the kitchen area are: under the coffee station next to the compost and behind the dining table. Yes, the black and silver thing under the KitchenAid mixer that looks like a trash can is also a trash can. Lisa just can’t be bothered to take the extra step to open the lid.
ENTRANCES (OR EXITS, DEPENDING ON WHETHER YOU ARE A GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY TYPE)
Similar to the number of waste receptacles, our house has a lot of entrances / exits. We prefer anyone between 4-17 to use the basement backdoor to enter and exit when playing outside. This makes it less disruptive to the adults who are using the main space. This also provides direct access to a bathroom, which is the only thing they should be coming inside for… since there are water bottles on the concrete patio. Also, we periodically toss food out there.
You’ll find paper to write or draw on in the back of this binder. Our kids would also be happy to show you where markers and other coloring implements can be found.
We’re firm believers in the nap, even if you are not an overnight guest. If you need to lay your head down for 5-17 minutes, we get it. You don’t even need to tell us about it.
If at any time during your visit you need a quiet place to regroup, please feel free to ask if our bedroom is available. The kids’ bedroom are also available most of the times. There’s no shame in laying down in a 6 year old’s bed for a little shut-eye. (Naps are lost on the young.)
TRASH / COMPOST / RECYCLING / ETC.
Yes, we have a lot of trash cans and trash can-like receptacles. Don’t be shy about asking us what goes where. But hopefully we can eliminate some confusion here.
Chickens: Any food except chocolate, eggshells, and citrus. (Apparently, garlic and onions will make the eggs taste “weird”, but wouldn’t garlic-flavored eggs be DELICIOUS???). We don’t always have a “chicken pail” out, so you might have to take this food out yourself. Feel free to dispose of food in the compost if that’s easier for you.
Compost: White circular garbage can under the coffee station. What goes in here besides food that we’re too lazy to take to the chickens?
- rotting food (see? this is what happens when you don’t help us with our leftovers!)
- any food items that can’t go to the chickens (see above, but wait, why are you throwing away chocolate?)
- tea/coffee filters/grounds
- paper that’s too soiled to recycle
Trash: Everything else that doesn’t fit into one of the above categories. Main receptacles in the kitchen area are: under the coffee station next to the compost and behind the dining table. Yes, the black and silver thing under the KitchenAid mixer that looks like a trash can is also a trash can. Lisa just can’t be bothered to take the extra step to open the lid.
ENTRANCES (OR EXITS, DEPENDING ON WHETHER YOU ARE A GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY TYPE)
Similar to the number of waste receptacles, our house has a lot of entrances / exits. We prefer anyone between 4-17 to use the basement backdoor to enter and exit when playing outside. This makes it less disruptive to the adults who are using the main space. This also provides direct access to a bathroom, which is the only thing they should be coming inside for… since there are water bottles on the concrete patio. Also, we periodically toss food out there.
SHOES
We’re not a strictly Asian household when it comes to shoes in the house. (Well, one of us is more strict than the other, and you’d be surprised which one of us it is.) We kinda like to avoid shoes, especially on carpeted areas, but if you are going to be in and out, we don’t mind if you keep them on. If you already took them off before reading this, one of us is maybe thinking you passed the test.
Ask for house slippers if you just need something to keep you warm. (We love our original hardwood floors but it sure gets cold.) We would keep them out all the time like a proper Asian household but there are TOO MANY SHOES IN THIS HOUSE ALREADY.
TV
Omg modern TVs are the worst. Here’s our best attempt at explaining how to operate ours. In the back bottom right of the TV (yes, behind the screen), is a button. Push it in to turn on the screen. (Pull it in? School for the gifted.)
Next, grab the Roku remote control (hopefully the kids put it back in the remote control basket) and press the button that has a picture of a home on it. Now you’re on your own.
We haven’t used the actual TV remote in a while, so we recommend you use that same button behind the TV to adjust the volume (left and right is softer and louder).
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Hopefully we’ve covered most of your questions. If there’s something else you need, please don’t hesitate to ask. If you are painfully shy, maybe try asking Cori for help? She knows everything. At the very least, she can recite the Lord’s Prayer for you.
Lastly, we hope you’ll sign our guestbook. No one else has since 2010, which is why Lisa wrote these instructions so we can get more autographs.
We hope you enjoy your stay.
This post made me feel warm and welcome even though I'm hundreds of miles away. Miss you friend and hope that maybe someday soon I'll find myself following this guide. :)
ReplyDeleteAww... we would LOVE that! Maybe someone would even make you a you-know-what kind of chai!
DeleteThis is wonderful!!! Reading this was educational and fun (and it seemed like you had fun writing it too). It almost felt like I got to be a houseguest, and I loved the peeks into your lovely home.
ReplyDeleteThank you! We would relish the chance to have you as our houseguest one day. :) I've always enjoyed picking up hospitality tips from you whenever I get to visit.
DeleteLoved this. (PS David you need to be called DROista)
ReplyDeleteThanks love! Ha, good one!
DeleteLoving how much detail and thoughtfulness is in this. It made me want to come over and experience all these lovely corners of your home again!
ReplyDelete